Blog
From Mass Murderers to Mania: How much do we know about families?
What goes on in a family that produces a mass murderer or severe symptoms of any type? Were the family members cut off, over-controlled, over-protected, physically abused, despised? Were they kings, queens or just a prince or princess? Were they suffering from an emotional shock wave, a family reaction to death? What are the dynamics of these families that produce such "interesting" symptoms? Below are the 5 mechanisms that automatically, without awareness manage anxiety.
Three Failures on a Couch Video Series
Rave reviews from their first video blog titled “Three Failures on a Couch” prompted the faculty of Navigating Systems to continue their dialogue addressing the real-world application of Bowen Family Systems Theory to family and professional life.
Can You See Emotional Contagion and Still Define Your Self?
Is it possible that our lives are predetermined by our emotional reactivity to others? If so what can we learn from considering that to some extent we are all living on Shakespeare’s stage?
Peace in our Families; Peace in the World
For someone as entrenched in family systems theory for the past 30 years as I have been, it is, above all, an example of how we humans are capable of a broad and creative repertoire of behavior to help us deal with difficult circumstances.
Reflections on Changing Self in a Multigenerational Family System
This spring and summer there were very obvious increases in symptoms in my family. At times like this I am vulnerable to anxiety, to overreacting, over-helping and rescuing. This is not a pretty sight: an anxious older sister ready to help. Yes, I need to up my game. So, I sat down to think about what is the history of drug problems in my family. What I have been told or witnessed seems to fall under the general idea around a negative focus on the weaker ones in the group.
Leaning In: An Interview with Charles Collier (1948-2018)
My friend and colleague, Charlie Collier, died this summer on August 2nd. It was not unexpected, but just the same, news of his passing left a deep sadness and an emptiness.
Ten years ago, Charlie was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, while he was still in the very early stage of the disease. When he shared the news with me, he followed it up with the firm intention of dealing openly and directly with the future, whatever challenges it would bring.
Why Is Neurofeedback a Centerpiece of Navigating Systems?
Each participant in Navigating Systems has the opportunity to do two neurofeedback sessions during each of the three on-site training times. Neurofeedback decreases the reactivity present to the group and to new ideas; it promotes less reactivity often present in the group learning; it promotes individual self-regulation; and it increases one’s ability to learn.
Does Cutting Off from the “Jerks” in your Family Endanger Your Future?
Often you can see that the family leader can have a laser-like focus on the company, but (often unseen) there is pressure to fit in and do things for the company or for the family that make no sense. Then pressure builds. The spouse, who does not run the family business, gets the job of relating to the children. They can end up complaining to the other spouse: “You are not relating well to the children.” Children then have become a burden for the boss and for the company. There is no room for individual development (or one way of seeing it is that he or she is getting pressured to change in the name of increasing family harmony).
Understanding and Interrupting Relationship Set Points
We have been tuned by evolutionary process to be guided by clues and to act automatically. To perceive the world more accurately takes time and effort. The way our brain interprets the world around us is through cognitive biases.[i] They are in our brains, little short cuts that help us act and not think. Discovering how these habits of thinking or set points work requires a disciplined effort. Without effort, it is difficult to bring objectivity and awareness into our lives. “Think for yourself” is a very dangerous idea. You can be outside the group’s way of seeing, but you may also be released from suffering.
Working Relationships in Family Business: Hard, Possible, Necessary!
Mention the topic of family enterprise and nine times out of ten you will get an immediate and loaded response on how difficult it is to work with family. Fraught with problems! Damaging to relationships! Everyone has something to say about it, proffering opinions that come from first-hand experience or not.